Death Becomes Her
by Lady Enelya
Summary: What happens when Jude is dying...


Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

A/N: I've been slightly depressed recently, so this is what happened. I'll be getting back to TRIUTG soon, but for now, deal with my sad ravings. I figure Reagen is about 6 and Carys is around 3.

Jude Harrison-Quincy was dying. That was the simple fact of the matter. There was nothing to be done for her, no treatments not already tried. Now, it was only a matter of time.

Tom Quincy would be left to take care of their daughters. Their two beautiful daughters, each wonderfully oblivious to what was happening. While Reagen, the eldest, knew that Mommy was sick, she wasn't worried. And baby Carys was blissfully unaware. Tommy longed for the innocence of childhood.

As Tommy sat in the park, pondering his wife's leukemia, she sat on the ground, playing with their children. It had taken her days to get the energy to come to the park with them. Reagen and Carys weren't disappointed. Mommy was out of bed.

Jude had insisted on home care, for the time being. The bargain was that when she got worse, she was going to the hospital. Jude had agreed, but against her better judgment. She didn't want the last memories her daughters had of her to be of a cold, scary hospital.

Jude wanted her children to remember the good times. Like the park, and picnics in the field. She wanted Reagen to remember going shopping for the frilliest Easter dress they could find. As for Carys, Jude wanted Carys to remember something. Anything. Perhaps a brief memory of playing Barbies. Or the nights she had ran to Carys in the middle of the night, soothing away the monsters of nightmares.

As the weeks flew by, Jude's condition worsened. By the end of May, Jude was in the hospital, for what they both knew would be the last time. This was it.

"Tommy." Jude called out, opening her eyes. "I need to see the girls."

Tommy nodded. It was only a matter of days now, maybe even hours. Jude needed to say goodbye. He went out in the hall where Reagen was playing house with Aunt Sadie, and Carys was being read a book by Uncle Kwest. Tommy sat next to Kwest and opened his arms as Carys crawled into his lap. Kwest looked over at Tom.

"She wants the girls, doesn't she?" he asked his friend. Tommy nodded. Sadie looked over at him.

"I'll take them in." she volunteered. Tommy nodded again. "Come on girls. Your mom wants to see you." Carys leapt of her father's lap and ran over to Jude's door as Reagen shyly took Sadie's hand.

Kwest again snuck a glance at Tommy. He had bags under his eyes and he was pale. When Tommy looked over at him, he saw tears in Tommy's eyes. Without saying a word, he twisted his body and pulled Tommy into a hug as the sobs began.

Meanwhile, Sadie helped the girls into Jude's room and excused herself to grab some coffee. Jude smiled at her children.

"C'mere, girls." She said softly, the smile still on her face. Jude helped Carys into the bed as Reagen climbed up eagerly. With one of her daughters tucked safely into each arm, Jude sighed.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Reagen asked, looking up at her mother in admiration. Jude shook her head slowly.

"Oh, I'm just thinking about how much I'm going to miss you." Jude said quietly. Reagen looked up in alarm.

"Mommy, are you going away?" She asked. Carys looked up in confusion.

"Yes, I am. Baby, I'm going to go stay with the angels now." Jude said, kissing the top of Carys's head. Reagen started crying. "Oh, sweetie. I know you're going to miss me, and I'm going to miss you."

"But I don't want you to go!" Reagen said loudly. Carys was crying now too.

"I know, baby, I know. I don't want to go either. But I have to." Jude said, tears in her eyes.

"No, you don't." Reagen sobbed, pressing her face into Jude's arm. Carys wrapped her small arms around Jude's waist.

"Sweetheart, I'm really sick. I don't want to go, but I need to." Jude said, starting to cry too. "And I know that you're going to be sad for a long time. And angry too. And you need to know that it's ok. It's ok to hate me. I just want you to know that I love you. I love you both so much." Jude said, looking at them both. Carys nodded slowly.

"Reagen, I want you to take care of Carys. She's you're little sister and she'll annoy you, but look after her for me, ok?" Reagen nodded as well. "And Carys, sweetie, you need to protect your daddy for me. Watch out for him." Carys looked up at her mother.

"Ok, mommy." Carys said softly.

Jude saw Sadie waiting outside the door. She sniffled, and gathered up her remaining courage. Now it was time to say goodbye to her children.

"Alright, guys, you have to go now." Jude said sadly. She pulled Reagen into a hug. "I love you so much, baby. If you ever have any questions, you ask your dad or Aunt Sadie. They're both really smart, ok? I love you." Jude said as Reagen pulled away. Jude smiled as Reagen hopped off the bed and went to the door, tears streaming down her face.

With a small sob, Jude turned to Carys and hugged her daughter. "Princess, if you ever need help, you go to Reagen. She'll look after you. I love you, so much, my princess." Jude planted a kiss on Carys's forehead, and then helped her off the bed. When she was at the door, both girls turned back to their mom.

"I love you, mommy." They said in unison. Jude blew a kiss as the walked out the door. When the door closed, Jude turned away and started sobbing.

Some time later, Tommy entered the room again. Jude smiled at him.

"Hey, girl." He whispered. He sat next to her on the bed and held her.

"Tommy, Reagen is going to be mad, for a long time. You need to understand and just be there for her. And Carys is too young, she won't understand, please help her. I want her to remember me, ok? Please." Jude begged, tears running down her face. Tommy started crying too.

"I promise, I'll do my best, Jude." Tommy said.

"Tommy, I love you so much." Jude started.

"Please don't." Tommy whispered. "No goodbyes."

"I need to. I need to, Tommy. I love you so much. I'm scared. I'm so scared. Not only of dying, but of being without you." Jude sobbed.

"I know, girl, I know." Tommy said softly. "I love you, so much. I don't know what I'm going to do without you." They sat there, crying, together.

In the waiting room, looking out for the girls, Sadie sat next to Kwest.

"It's not fair." Sadie said suddenly. Kwest turned to her.

"What?"

"It's not fair. She has everything in front of her yet. It's not fair that I have to lose my last family member. After mom and dad died…" Sadie trailed off. Their parents had, ironically, been on the same flight to Jamaica, when the plane crashed over the States, killing everyone on board. Sadie started crying.

Tommy sat next to Jude on an uncomfortable chair, holding her hand. He was looking at her, remembering everything they had gone through. Now, she was being torn away from him and their kids. It wasn't fair.

A nurse came in, checking Jude's vitals. Tommy glared at her.

"Mr. Quincy. I'm so sorry, but she's gone." Tommy looked down at Jude, peaceful Jude, who looked asleep.

"No. Oh, no." He said, standing abruptly.

Jude Harrison-Quincy was dead.


End file.
